1. This is what I mean by “GET SOME AIR”.
2. I am REALLY BAD at riding my bike.
For some reason I found this incredibly hilarious.
Oh, and happy 2012, Internets.
via Married To The Sea.
HOLY FUCK. HAS ARTHUR (LEFT) GOT THE MOST RIPPED LEGS EVER?
HIS TRAINER (NEXT LEFT), SOLD HIS SOUL TO THE DEVIL IN RETURN FOR ETERNAL FUCKING COOLNESS. HE WAS CALLED CHOPPY WARBURTON. FACT.
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION: FIND ME A CHOPPY WARBURTON.
I’d sell my soul for legs like that, no doubt.
I read this piece by Jens exactly in his voice. He writes so excitedly! And with so many exclamation points! Yes, exclamation points!
But then, to my total disbelief a middle-aged guy just tackles the kid like a defensive back in the Super Bowl! And then, while the poor kid tries to regain his balance, the man grabs the bottle and starts putting it away. I watched this and kept on riding, but I was just steaming in disappointment and anger—yes, anger!
No, are you not seeing my sexiness? These pants, the have the passion of Saturn and well pandas don’t frighten me. The llama, the llama is sinful in an requited love sort of way similar to the bonobos.
(it helps if you read the above while talking like Christopher Walken. Can you tell we’re deep in the throes of getting our holiday drink on?)
I recently included this in an email for work:
I also hope that someone has seen How I Met Your Mother, season 7, episode 11, in which the Barney says the following:
Barney: You know how I got a guy for everything? Well they’re all in New York –my suit guy, my shoe guy, my ticket guy, my club guy. And if I don’t have a guy for something then I have a guy guy that can get me a guy. And oddly enough, his name is Guy.
Dita Von Teese, Scarlett Johansson, and Christian Louboutin
MEGA MAN X. ON THE IPHONE.
Controls probably suck, though. Probably better off on the SNES, or with my USB-ified SNES controller and a good emulator.
But, a few hours in an airport…and I may just change my mind.
I fucking love Matt Taibbi. Read this.
But citizens of the stateless archipelago where people like Schwarzman live spend millions a year lobbying and donating to political campaigns so that they can jump the line. They don’t need to make sure the government is fulfilling its customer-service obligations, because they buy special access to the government, and get the special service and the metaphorical comped bottle of VIP-room Cristal afforded to select customers.
Stop what you are doing and call 719.266.2837 right now.
That is all.