Ten Years

Ten years ago today, I did my first road bike race – which I consider to be the first race I did, despite the two terrible mountain bike races I did in the fall of 2003.

I missed out on the first ECCC weekend at Rutgers, so my first race was at Penn State. This was also when I first developed my general hatred for Pennsylvania, a hatred that would only grow stronger as I spent several weekends driving a billion friggin hours to and from bike races in the land of Erica Allar.

Anyway, at my first road race ever, it was really cold (and, as we were going to Florida next, my idiot 18 year old brain only packed for warm Florida – not frigid Pennsylvania). The hillclimb TT was shortened because there was too much snow at the top. I don’t remember anything about the crit.

I do, though, vividly remember the circut race. Matt Piotrowski, then a junior (I think?), and now a coworker of mine, gave me a congratulatory pat on the back towards the end of the race. What he didn’t realize, though, was that I was on the brink of exploding.

Right after he patted me on the back, I got dropped.

So, with that, let’s look at what my first road racing weekend was like! Maybe later in this here post I’ll wax nostalgic about all the great things that cycling has done for me in the last ten years – or I’ll just go off on a tangent about dicks.

Thanks to the wonder of archive.org, here are the results.


Men D                               31 Starters       4.8 Miles, 1100'ITT Pts.
1       686 Zach        Via         UNH               21:31.18        11
2       633 Edward      Naughton    UNH               22:44.88        9
3       654 David       Maitlin     Penn State        23:17.92        7
4       684 Joshua      Kissinger   UNH               24:29.33        6
5       634 Drew        Szeliga     UNH               24:43.91        5
6       682 Matt        Piotrowski  UNH               24:46.97        4
7       630 Nathaniel   Brahms      Harvard           24:57.36        3
8       607 Stewart     Ellis       Harvard           24:59.05        2
9       679 Ander       Kazmerski   Rochester         25:06.55        1
10      627 Nathaniel   Craig       Harvard           25:13.62
11      683 Gerald      Obey        UNH               25:21.13
12      687 Ryan        Kelly       UNH               25:26.22
13      672 Max         Rietmann    Cornell           25:29.85
14      631 Jonathan    Tan         Yale              26:01.96
15      677 Peter       Nix         Rochester         26:06.27
16      632 Blake       Holt        UNH               26:14.68
17      660 Mike        Garvey      Penn State        26:16.29
18      656 Heinz JurgenPunge       Rutgers           26:26.30
19      619 Stephen     Maxwell     Harvard           26:28.83
20      655 David       Miller      Cornell           26:34.18
21      601 Pieter      Van Lieu    UMass             26:36.95
22      635 Ricky       Silver      Skidmore          27:05.24
23      661 John        Cawthorne   Penn State        27:11.22
24      662 Aaron       Nathan      Cornell           27:18.26
25      678 Brian       Anderson    Rochester         27:19.36
26      623 Nicholas    Qiang       MIT               27:40.60
27      689 James       Miller      Cornell           27:44.43
28      690 Ryan        van Hoff    Dartmouth         27:54.41
29      681 Jonathan    Rupp        Cornell           28:09.10
30      688 John        St. Onge    UNH               28:59.74
31      680 Andrew      Potter      Cornell           30:38.18

(full results)

A fun thing to do here is guess “Who won a collegiate hill climb TT in 2004?” SPOILER: Mike Barton. It was Mike Barton. Duh.

Another  fun thing to play is a game of “Who is still racing?” Nice to see Cosmo turning in a SOLID mid-field finish in the Bs.


Men D                           38 Starters       Crit PoiSprint Points
1   686 Zach        Via         UNH               12      8
2   682 Matt        Piotrowski  UNH               9       5
3   619 Stephen     Maxwell     Harvard           7       1
4   683 Gerald      Obey        UNH               6
5   607 Stewart     Ellis       Harvard           5       1
6   691 Regi        EndriukaitisDrexel            4       2
7   611 Justin      Kline       Drexel            3
8   630 Nathaniel   Brahms      Harvard           2       5
9   653 Eric        Miller      Penn State        1
10  621 Abe         Gissen      Tufts
11  633 Edward      Naughton    UNH
12  634 Drew        Szeliga     UNH
13  687 Ryan        Kelly       UNH
14  662 Aaron       Nathan      Cornell
15  672 Max         Rietmann    Cornell
16  692 Richard     Katz        Columbia
17  679 Ander       Kazmerski   Rochester
18  641 Jon         Menzin      Columbia          pulled & placed
19  623 Nicholas    Qiang       MIT
20  620 Matt        Dysart      Tufts
21  660 Mike        Garvey      Penn State
22  677 Peter       Nix         Rochester
23  678 Brian       Anderson    Rochester
24  689 James       Miller      Cornell
25  690 Ryan        van Hoff    Dartmouth
26  694 Noah        Ashbaugh    Penn State
27  601 Pieter      Van Lieu    UMass
28  654 David       Maitlin     Penn State
29  684 Joshua      Kissinger   UNH
30  635 Ricky       Silver      Skidmore
31  658 Karan       Gill        Penn State
32  631 Jonathan    Tan         Yale
33  661 John        Cawthorne   Penn State
34  610 Michael     Ondik       Drexel
35  671 Timothy     Reissman    Cornell
dnf 627 Nathaniel   Craig       Harvard
dnf 688 John        St. Onge    UNH
dnf 693 Steven      Place       Drexel

(full results)

I didn’t get pulled NOR DID I CRASH in my first crit. I got that going for me.

Hey, who won the Men’s A crit? (Mike Barton. It was Mike Barton). Also featured in the Men’s A crit was Joe Kopena.

And Cosmo was in a break that lapped the field in the B race.

Circuit Race

Men D                           42 Starters       18 Miles  RR Pts.
1   686 Zach        Via         UNH               51:28     20
2   653 Eric        Miller      Penn State        at 1:20   16
3   654 David       Maitlin     Penn State                  12
4   611 Justin      Kline       Drexel            1:23      8
5   692 Richard     Katz        Columbia                    5
6   691 Regi        EndriukaitisDrexel                      4
7   696 Keith       Kirkwood    Delaware          1:30      3
8   683 Gerald      Obey        UNH                         2
9   697 John        Kirkwood    Delaware                    1
10  630 Nathaniel   Brahms      Harvard
11  621 Abe         Gissen      Tufts
12  619 Stephen     Maxwell     Harvard
13  682 Matt        Piotrowski  UNH               1:45
14  687 Ryan        Kelly       UNH               1:50
15  607 Stewart     Ellis       Harvard           2:00
16  631 Jonathan    Tan         Yale              3:00
17  634 Drew        Szeliga     UNH               3:10
18  695 Adam        Cohen       Skidmore
19  633 Edward      Naughton    UNH               pulled & placed
20  620 Matt        Dysart      Tufts
21  684 Joshua      Kissinger   UNH
22  658 Karan       Gill        Penn State
23  645 Andrew      Webster     Delaware
24  677 Peter       Nix         Rochester
25  656 Heinz JurgenPunge       Rutgers
26  635 Ricky       Silver      Skidmore
27  671 Timothy     Reissman    Cornell
28  641 Jon         Menzin      Columbia
29  693 Steven      Place       Drexel
30  694 Noah        Ashbaugh    Penn State
31  601 Pieter      Van Lieu    UMass
32  679 Ander       Kazmerski   Rochester
33  690 Ryan        van Hoff    Dartmouth
34  610 Michael     Ondik       Drexel
35  678 Brian       Anderson    Rochester
36  688 John        St. Onge    UNH
37  655 David       Miller      Cornell
38  627 Nathaniel   Craig       Harvard
dnf 623 Nicholas    Qiang       MIT
dnf 643 Steven      Anton       Delaware
dnf 660 Mike        Garvey      Penn State
dnf 661 John        Cawthorne   Penn State

(full results)

Hrm. I finished ONE MINUTE AND FIFTY SECONDS DOWN in an EIGHTEEN MILE CIRCUIT RACE. WHAT. If I remember correctly, there was some sort of wall-ish climb there or something. I have no idea what the course was. Because it was 10 years ago. And I got dropped. In my third race ever.

Who won the Men’s A race?

It was Mike Barton.

Anyway. That was the first race. Then I went to Florida, crashed and broke my frame (which I found out later and raced Beanpot and UVM on a borrowed cross bike), and gave myself a knee wound that is still a nasty scar to this day because I continued to crash on it, never letting it heal.

You may also notice in the results is one Drew Szeliga, co-founder of the Drew and Ryan Announcing Experience. We’re still BEST FRIENDS.

Bike racing has brought me MANY BEST FRIENDS. Oddly enough, Cosmo and I could have had several more years of BEST FRIENDSHIP had we hung out at Penn State that first weekend, but, it was not to be.

Bike racing (and riding, which is required for the continuation of my mediocre results) has brought me/led me to/enabled the following things (that I am thinking of off the top of my head):

  • Fitness, and an ass that just won’t quit.
    • Possible immortality, due to fitness.
  • From collegiate cycling, an ability to race on little sleep and junk calories (Pop Tarts).
  • My wife and our currently unborn child (as we met at a UNH cycling team potluck that I went to, with no food, when I was one year out of college).
    • This child will LITERALLY owe it’s existence to cycling.
  • One internship at a trade magazine publisher in Oxford, CT (as I met the owner on a group ride. I did not drop him.)
    • Tip, kids – don’t always try to drop everyone, as they may end up offering you an internship.
  • My career (tipped to me via Josh Austin/John Healy, both of whom I knew through cycling).
  • Most of my friends (as noted above).
    • As a result, the improvement of my job skillz (thanks Colin).
  • Caffeine addiction.
  • The development and refinement of thousands of complicated dick/poop jokes.
  • Probably skin cancer on my nose.
  • Ownership of one car for quite a while, thus enabling me to be a pompous dick about carbon footprints.
    • Yes, I understand the carbon footprint of a supply chain that brings me a bike and components from China. Shut up.

I could really dig deep into this list (bike racing led to my job which led to destroying my eyes from looking at a computer screen which led to me getting glasses and thus looking sexier), but you get the idea.

Bike racing may seem like a totally silly hobby (silly by some metrics, but those are the same metrics that consider golf to be a totally reasonable hobby), but bike racing is like some sort of parasite that infects your body and directs you down a path towards health and awesome decisions and, if you’re lucky, an uncanny ability to find a dick joke in every sentence.

2 thoughts on “Ten Years”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *