A thing about pooping at work.

At work there is a bathroom right off of the locker room.

After I ride in, I go to the locker room with my things. I put my things in a locker, then I go to the bathroom and poop.

The toilet is maybe ten feet from the locker room and the shower, where I will be washing myself.

After I poop, I push the door between the bathroom and the locker room with my foot, without washing my hands. This is because merely two minutes after leaving the stall, I will be taking a shower, where I will wash my hands (and my entire body).

Sometimes there are people in the bathroom when I leave it, and they see me not washing my hands. I feel like they’re judging me as “Ryan Kelly the gross dude who takes dumps and then doesn’t wash his hands”. But washing my hands there would be like cleaning the door handle of my car right before I go to a carwash.

I think about this every morning in the stall, hoping there’s no one in the bathroom when I pass through so they don’t judge me as a gross dude. I also fear that one day I will lose it and explain this to a person standing in the bathroom and they will look at me and go “Um…okay… I didn’t really notice.” Or I’ll send a company-wide email about this.

3 thoughts on “A thing about pooping at work.”

  1. I would definitely avoid a company-wide email, but go ahead and talk to whoever is there to get it off your chest. If they go “Um… okay…” That’s alright. They are just probably saying to themselves, “What a Freak!” Just like any other day.

  2. are you pooping naked then heading straight to the shower? I’d think that would negate any concern for hand cleanliness or lack thereof. If I were in there while you were going through your ‘process’ I’d be like: ‘whoah, that guy was naked – I better get out of here – gotta get to my cube.’

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