TOUR DE AWESOME preview/300 not on 100

Though “when it rains, it pours” may be a lame saying, it pretty well describes the eight days of awesome/exhaustion I will be enjoying shortly. Things always seem to work out so that all of my awesome stuff happens in one week, instead of over the course of several months. Oh well.

IN FACT, I am sitting on a train right now en route to stage 1A of the TOUR DE AWESOME, which is also a sort of lame name for something but screw you guys.

Stage 1A (Saturday afternoon), of course, is the Boston Mayor’s cup. This is particularly fun because I’m in the 2/3 race, instead of the usual “big boy” Pro/1/2/3 or Pro/1/2 race. It’s fun because I won’t have random pros showing up to make my life miserable and OBVIOUSLY I AM GOING TO WIN.

It won’t be fun because everyone else thinks they’re going to win, and because Dean Phillips is somehow still a Cat 2 and will probably just ride away from everyone, as I know for a fact he can go 32 miles an hour on his own for 45 minutes.

Races that lack Pro/1 riders are interesting because the rest of us – who are 2s or 3s because we are “not good” – end up behaving like the Muppet Babies once Nanny is out of the room. Having the wattage enforcement of non-clowns is nice. However, it means that I am less likely to do well, but am also more likely to have some crazed 3 dive-bomb me in the last corner.

Stage 1B (Saturday evening), is (hopefully) the delivery of a SPY HUNTER ARCADE CABINET. However, my brother-in-law, who knows the guy, hasn’t gotten back to me. So Stage 1B might be me stacking a cord of wood on my porch.

Stage 2 (Sunday), is the CT Cycling Festival International Bicycle Race By The Civic Center In Hartford. They asked for a race resume if you wanted a call up, and I was more than happy to provide them with an updated one.

The course is eight corners, and it might rain, so yay. It’s also the LAST RACE OF 2013 HOOOOORAAAAAAAAYYYYY TIME TO DRINK RANCH DRESSING (j/k I’ve been drinking ranch dressing for months now).

Rest day 1 (Monday), sees me going to work on the scooter as I need to rest up for the next stages.

Stage 3 (Tuesday), is the FIRST DAY of the annual “Bicycle Ride With Ted And Tim”, aka 200on100, 200noton100. It’s a two day event. Exeter to Boothbay Harbor then back the next day.

You should come ride along with us for a while if you want. We are DEPARTING from D Squared Java in downtown Exeter at 6 a.m. Get there at 5:15 if you want to buy an espresso (you should. They’re opening early for us, and they have the best espresso). Then we’re going to blast up to Maine at about 50 miles an hour. More info is on

Stage 4 (Wednesday), day two of 300 not on 100. This is the day that I’m going to be sad, as I’m pretty okay to bang out a 150+ mile ride…but less good at doing it again the next day. I learned this a few weeks ago after a 130 mile ride with my teammates – my commute to work the next day was not great.

Rest day 2 (Thursday), duh. I think I’m going to sleep all day and maybe fix the lawnmower if my parts come in. I will not be going to work.

Stage 5A (Friday morning/afternoon), I help set up the GP Gloucester for eight hours, aka I’ll be doing landscaping for eight hours.

Also I hope everyone realizes that I have at least three seperate chances to totally sabotage Tim Johnson’s race – the two days of riding and perhaps setting up booby traps on the course.

Stage 5B (Friday night), I go see Electric Six at the Middle East in Cambridge.

Stage 6 (Saturday), I have to be in Vermont by 8:30 a.m. to do a 6 Gaps ride. After going to a concert where I will dance my face off (#discolegs) that will probably end at 1 a.m.

I have rented a car for stages 5A – 6, as that is the only way that this adventure is going to work.

So. That is the Tour de Awesome. Bye. You’ll hear more.

2 thoughts on “TOUR DE AWESOME preview/300 not on 100”

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