exit17

Wise words from a foolish man

My friend Internet Colin has a lovely blog, and in today’s post he dropped some knowledge:

So, that’s how I realized that nostalgia is stupid. Just say no! Live for the future, not the past, because your brain is probably just lying to you about how great the past was!

Maternity jerseys

So, my boss has a BABY GROWING INSIDE OF HER BODY. She rides to work with some frequency, and has continued to do so throughout the first half of her pregnancy.

Now, due to the HUMAN BEING INSIDE OF HER, her regular collection of jerseys no longer fit comfortably. She’s been wearing larger jerseys, and as anyone who has been forced to wear a larger jersey can attest to, it’s friggin’ annoying.

She was looking at maternity jerseys online. And they are horrible:

The really depressing thing is that these jerseys are made by Terry, THE bicycle/clothing company for women! You’d think they’d make some jerseys for pregnant chicks that didn’t look like they were made from scraps of tablecloths.

Tags: barf, cycling

Why I lost the crit

I woke up this morning, and it was about 85 degrees at 7 a.m.

Post-breakfast, I was standing in the kitchen talking to the girlfriend about how excited I was to go work in an air conditioned office today. The following dialog followed:

Girlfriend: “Think about other people who have to work outside today.”
Me: “Yeah. The guy who won the crit yesterday said on the internet that he’d be doing contracting work outside.”
Girlfriend: “Well, that’s probably why he won the crit and you didn’t.” (cue rimshot)

So when I got to work, I went on the roof and destroyed our A/C units so I could become tough while sitting at my desk fighting with Excel. TAKE THAT. THE CRIT IS MINE NEXT YEAR.

Tags: chandler delinks, cycling, girlfriend

Information Store is CLOSED.

Apparently the Information Store is OUT OF INFORMATION and is CLOSED.

Is the Information Store another word for the Internet? I don’t even know what to make of this cryptic error message.

Another reason why I found this hilarious/personally interesting -

Back when I lived with Ken, we would often sit around in our shitty living room, him strumming the guitar, me coming up with nonsensical songs. One of my favorite lines to return to – and to use as a jumping off point – was the concept of “going to the store”. Sometimes it would be to get some cheese. Sometimes it would be to get guns. Whatever it was, going to the store enabled me to continue singing a song about robot monkeys with ease.

Tags: error message, internet, windows

Exeter Crit, number 2

HEY GUYS!

Did you register for the Exeter Crit yet?

Because you totally should.

(if you click the animated gif above, you can register! yay gifs!)

Did I mention that I’m gonna be there? So will my girlfriend. She’s real. So will Drew. And probably his dog. And probably my dog. And probably Josh Austin. And his dog. Everyone and their dog will be there.

Ted King is also racing. You may know him from the INTERNET, or from Housatonic Hills where he was all “pffff I’m gonna go fast because I had donuts this morning oh yeah and I race bikes in Europe and shit”. Although everyone marked the shit out of him because we know he’s fancy and stuff…but that’s for another blog post.

BACK TO THE POINT AT HAND.

All of you clowns that I know that race bikes had better come to the Exter crit. 40+ Men at 6 p.m., Pro/1/2/3 at 7 p.m. So leave work a bit early, hop on 93, take it to 101, get off in Exeter and race some bikes.

(pssst…top secret real Ed Spuler .gif is here (it has naughty words).)

Tags: cycling, exeter crit, spuler, ted king