exit17

Totally sweet group ride recap

Oh check it out internet. Amanda is gone for the week, vacationing with her family in Colorado. I am left behind in our apartment with nothing to do but drink growlers and play video games.

But because I am solo, I have ample time to BLOG. So I am going to BLOG THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYTHING I DO.

Tonight was the Exeter Ride. If you have been to my internet website before, you may have heard about it. If you live in Seacoast NH, or even Greater Boston, you may have heard of it. But if you’re from Georgia or somewhere else in the world, let me give you the run down of how the ride goes:

1. Leave the shop and downtown at a leisurely pace.
2. Go as hard as you can until the end of the ride.

Pretty straightforward. If there’s any questions, refer to point number two. Then follow what that says.

So we leave town, blah blah blah and ride our bikes sorta fast. This ride is a great workout (we usually average 25-26 mph on a somewhat rolling route…similar to a decent race) but there are some weird things that happen. Usually there are a handful of super-strong people (Dylan McNicholas, Ryan Fleming, Robbie King, other Cat 1s and pros) and a bunch of dudes who can bury themselves to hang on…but can’t do a bunch more than that. Which is totally fine. But sometimes it’s can be a tad annoying (right now I’m holding back on a totally sweet metaphor).

For example, when one pulls through…and the dude behind one does not pull through…and then a gap opens up…and one has to pull a bunch more until the gap is closed.

But HEY, bonus training. So totally cool. Training per dollars spent to drive to ride then INCREASES.

So that stuff happened a few times.

At one point, on the way up the “first hump”, Dylan McNicholas drilled it (after spending part of the pre-ride excusefest describing how he’s been sick. Sick Dylan=strong Ryan) and I got on his wheel like Ryan Gray on a white chick and worked with him until we got to the top of the hill. Then, happy with the SIZE OF OUR DICKs (which was obvious by the group-shattering attack we unleashed) we chilled until everyone rejoined us.

Later, a very interesting thing happened. We were riding our bikes along Camp Lee Road and there were some kids riding bikes. So the front riders yelled “KIDS ON BIKES” and we moved over appropriately. Seconds later, there was a lady. Again, front riders yelled “WALKER UP” and we moved. MERE SECONDS LATER, everyone in front of me hit their brakes. Ben Clapp skidded and nearly died. Granted, that was partially because he was riding with a bomb attached to his chest that would explode if he went slower than 20 for more than 30 seconds. The other part of his near death was because he was skidding to avoid a doggy that veered into the road.

There was much yelling and gnashing of teeth. Ben later got the award for “Best Group Ride Member to be Behind When Dogs Veer Into Road”. This award gave him fifteen (15) exit17 points, which can be saved towards a hug, in person, from me.

So then we kept riding our bikes really fast, and I went hard a few times, and got “off the front” (of the GROUP RIDE, mind you) towards the “end” (of the GROUP RIDE, mind you) with Dylan. Victory was snatched from my teeth.

Then the ride ended. We averaged – including our super-slow spin out of town – 25.3 miles per hour.

The best part of the ride was when Damien made the following comment (which I may remember incorrectly):

“Someone back there must LOVE WELDING GAPS.”

So for the rest of the time I kept thing of people behind me that opened up gaps slamming down a welder’s mask and getting to work closing the totally unnecessary gap that was opened up.

Also, during the entire ride, I had the opening vocals of this song stuck in my head (The Thermals are great):

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