THEY SPINNIN…and will eventually flat.
I spent this evening getting wheels and other things ready for Battenkill. Which is this weekend. Which I mostly forgot about, until today, when I realized I had no idea what was going on with the race, what was going on with my shit, and where all the gigs are.
Luckily, I found the gigs – they are on the Internet. The other stuff came together after I tracked down the gigs.
I also cleaned every cassette I own tonight, because I was in one of those OCD moods where I just get going on something and can’t stop. Sort of like Josh Austin when he is surrounded by a ring of sweet, delicious penises. ZING BITCHES.
Speaking of cassettes – I cleaned more cassettes tonight than a Sam Goody clerk in 1993. Booyah. Don’t worry, I’ll be on the internet FOREVER.
Anyway, the photo above shows the wheels I’m using for Battenkill (because I know you, internet, were very curious about my wheel selection for my bicycle race) – the ol’ training Open Pros/Ultegra have been called up to the big leagues for racing action. It’s not quite legit wheel porn, but it’s the best I can do.
After I got that crap ready, I took a look at the pre-reg list. Going through the names…nothing too concerning – just every Cat 2 in the northeast.
BUT WAIT. GAVIN MANNION IS STILL A CAT 2. For those of you who are unaware, Mr. Mannion is 17. He finished in the top five in many Pro/1/2/3 race. He has also ridden me off his wheel. What the hell. I’m a 23 year old MAN with ADULT GEARING. He should be a 1 now, and therefore out of my hair.
Well according to Facebook:
Great. Awesome. Apparently something was wrong with his SRM. I suppose. But still. I don’t want a 17 year old possibly putting out kilowatts in my bicycle race.
Despite getting shown up by someone who can’t legally drink, things could be worse:
Floyd Landis is the captain of the tunnel boring machine headed to Cambridge, NY. He will be digging a pain cave the likes of which the world has never seen.
“Sort of like Josh Austin when he is surrounded by a ring of sweet, delicious penises.”
That may, in fact, be the funniest sentence I’ve ever seen on the internet.
As for Battenkill … if you’re gonna be in the pain cave, you may as well have fun with it. Every time you’re within earshot of Floyd, Tim or one of their minions, you must – like Special Ed from “Crank Yankers” – shout at the top of your lungs … “OUCH! Hahahahaha..YAAAAAAAAAAY!”
If you can’t beat ‘em … mock ‘em!
Anders Newbury is also about 17 and has the ability to embarrass you with his junior gearing in the cat 2 race.
There are probably dozens of 17 year olds (and probably 16, 15 and 14 year old) who can totally smoke me. But Gavin Mannion does it so frequently that he stands out in my mind.
At the USGP in New Jersey this year two 15-year-olds (Yannick Eckmann and Jeff Bahnson) crushed the entire 90-person 2/3 field both days.
There were a lot of sad twenty somethings after that race. I was one of them
I am so excited to sit the field with you hooligans. I just glued 14 fucking tubulars for people with some smart taste and I’m ready to hang out. Got myself the hook up with a room in the Rice Mansion (or “the Mansion” as the locals call it). If you’re looking for some sweet wheel porn, thats the place tomorrow night.
Where’s breakfast in that town? Or at least, what are you doing for said meal?