exit17

Take pleasure in my suffering.

Gloucester is this weekend.

As if you, who is probably a New England cyclist, didn’t already know.

I am doing the Elite race. Which is something that I am grossly unprepared for. My only two cross outings this year have ended in failure (second to last at Bedford, DNFing at EcoCross because I was nearly double lapped by Luke Keough and lapped by Colin (from the internet) which broke my spirit).

But, I like to think on the bright side of things. I like to think that my suffering can bring others joy, so that even though I am mentally broken and emotionally destroyed, those around me can take pleasure and find humor in watching a 23 year old manchild openly weep while racing his bike.

With that in mind, consider this an open invitation to heckle the shit out of me at Gloucester.

I’m sure that a lot of you didn’t need an invitation to do it (I’m looking at you Austin and Bob), but for everyone else that wasn’t planning on demoralizing me as I struggle up the barriers, this is your invitation to make signs proclaiming how much I, Ryan Kelly, suck. I know that there are a lot of you out there who have been the target of my heckling in the past – this is your chance to exact your revenge. All those times I told you to go faster? Those times I just chanted your name? Those times I screamed at you to suffer? Oh man, payback for me is going to be a bitch – especially when that payback is going to be scented with PBR breath and half-digested Johnsonville Brats.

So, when I’m at the back of the field getting lapped by pretty much everyone, I hope to look up and, through the blood that is pouring from my eyes, see you standing at the top of a hill reminding me that I suck.

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