I am the internet.
And that is why I’ve been busy lately. I’ve been running around, seeing to TCP/IP packet switching so that the gigs will appropriately transfered to the correct RAM module.
Thank god for my ITT Tech Degree. I mean, I used to work as a roofer, and that really burned me up! But now I have nine degrees in different levels of DOS!
Anyway. I’ve started doing a new fun thing. And this new fun thing is this:
When a tour group walks by, I continue doing what I’m doing – working at a computer, riding the rollers, whatever. But I just say, at a conversational volume, “Tour group! Tour group! Tooooour group!” until they walk away.
Well, not always at a conversational volume. While riding the rollers on Saturday at the Whit, I was screaming it. Also I was riding with no shirt on while listening to I Hate You When You’re Pregnant . And the screaming is probably because I’m an only child who constantly demands attention – hence the volume in every situation, usually when it is unnecessary and unappreciated – along with awful music and varying degrees of nudity.
But back to the tour groups.
I’ve gotten some pretty great looks from fathers on tour with their children:
“You’re not going here son. This place is full of crazies. That boy there…I’ve heard of him. Something about an ‘Adventure Cave’.”
I’m sure knowledge of the Adventure Cave has spread out from the Gables and into the general vicinity of Seacoast New Hampshire, where I’m sure many confused spelunkers are searching for said Cave of Adventure.
But they don’t want to go in there.
No one wants to go in there.
All that exists in there is pain, beans and the fragments of glass I wasn’t able to pick up.
More later. And probably pictures.
Senior year in college, I was walking out of my room when a father and his touring son approached me and asked if they could check out the dorm room. I hesitated, said “sure” and then warned him that it was messy. The dad mentioned something about him knowing all about messy dorm rooms but, man, he was not prepared for (or impressed by) the upturned furniture, smashed glass, and the knife in the wall. Kollege.
haha. pvb in college. something that has not happened in like, twenty years.
also i am pretty sure this post has something to do with the im i received the other day, which stated simply, “i am so good at drinking miller high life.”
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img.timeinc.net/time/2005/100movies/images/star_wars.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.time.com/time/2005/100movies/0,23220,star_wars,00.html&h=191&w=310&sz=26&hl=en&start=28&tbnid=6gIePqwT3z2EEM:&tbnh=72&tbnw=117&prev=/images%3Fq%3DStar%2BWars%26start%3D20%26ndsp%3D20%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Dactive%26sa%3DN
Han, Chewbac!!!!!!
http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/twentieth_century_fox/star_wars/_group_photos/harrison_ford9.jpg
we used to throw a hockey puck at the emergency door in our apartment back in the day. ever plunger throw around the apartment? to try to see if you can get it to stick. you don’t even have to lick it. and if you’re good, you can get the wood handle to shoot through the drywall, with the rubber plunger staring back at you. that’s like 10 points right there.
we threw a roommate through a wall once. at the end of the year we chucked defrosted chicken, eggs and potentially human feces into the space there, thanks to the roommate generated hole, and sealed it up and went on our way.
I’m not sure why I’m telling you all this. but I can relate to the adventure cave. good times.
I could go on. have you tried dry ice bombs? I shot one off in our shower and shot the cap through the ceiling. we used to shoot our potato cannon out one of the back windows of our second floor apartment. once, when I was drunk, I tried to load a potato in the barrel in one of the sinks in our bathroom area. it went straight through the sink. so 2 out of 3 sinks matched, and nobody noticed come inspection day. that was a tense day.
I’ve got more.
i want to see tequila night pictures.
NOWWWWWWWWWWWWW
I love stories of drunken bad/good/great ideas.