The Boring iPhone 5

iPhone 5. Super, whatever, I’ll probably get one when my contract is up. However, John Moltz is a funny man.

Eventually Apple will just make phones out of unicorn horn and the dewy moisture that collects between Scarlett Johansson’s breasts when she does hot yoga. (Technically, any yoga done by Scarlett Johansson is “hot yoga” but I’m specifically talking about Bikram in this case.)

I am required to post any references to Scarlett Johansson and hot yoga.

Levi Olsen outed in Cumberland University Dope scandal – more glorious than hookers and blow

I’ve said it before. If you are doping in collegiate cycling, man oh man you are a shit head. If you’re a COACH encouraging your collegiate riders to dope? You are the president and CEO of The Shithead Corporation of America.

right so why the fugg does this matter ?


cuz it happened In captains beloved


south eastern collegiate cycling conference

via Levi Olsen outed in Cumberland University Dope scandal – more glorious than hookers and blow.

Things I am Digging.

Here are some things that I am currently (as of this week) digging. Perhaps you will like them, too? Or you won’t. I don’t care.

  • Sherlock Holmes (BBC, 1984) on Netflix – I really enjoyed the recent Sherlock (which you should watch – also on Netflix) and this is quite good. Mostly because it’s really calm and doesn’t have the “liquified remains” aspect of Bones or the “terrifying ickiness” of Law and Order.
  • Amoxicillin – Not really digging this by choice, but by the fact that I do not want Lyme disease. I really dig not having Lyme disease, so, due to the transitive property of things, I dig amoxicillin. I’m entering week three, and will be done with it on Friday. Most of my August has been shot due to not knowing I had Lyme until two weeks into being…uncomfortable…and then having no bicycle fitness after being off the bike for two weeks. So I’ll probably win Portsmouth. Yep.
  • Kefir – as a result of above, I’ve been downing kefir like my regimented pooping schedule depends on it (which it does). I’ve also been mixing in various jarred fruits that we made last year. Like the jar of peaches that we made out of peaches growing on an unloved tree in Dover. Not sure why we waited a year to eat them. Shut up.
  • Hiking – I hiked a bunch this weekend (by “a bunch”, I mean significantly more than I usually do, which is zero units), with my wife and the dogs. It very New Hampshirey. Mt. Kearsarge had a great view, and I felt like my beard convinced people I belong in the outdoors.

These are the things that I am currently digging.

The Cheapest Generation – Derek Thompson and Jordan Weissmann – The Atlantic

The typical new car costs $30,000 and sits in a garage or parking spot for 23 hours a day. (source)

We (by we, I mean Amanda and I, because I’m adult now, and thus boring and incapable of thinking of myself as an individual unit) have one car. And this is pretty much why – plus but the yearly costs of things breaking, inspections, and paying for EARTH BLOOD to make it run.

Hello, Internet.

HI THERE INTERNET.  Considering my last post was May 26, I’m sure that most people have removed this from their blog reader or, if they are living in 2004 and don’t know what RSS is, have stopped checking it on a frequent basis.

Or, it still lives in their reader, like a hibernating, literate rodent, ready to fill their RSS feed with swears and references to poop.

Continue reading Hello, Internet.