Are you a company that has your logo on socks? Are you a sock company that is sitting on a pile of extra-large (suitable for size fifteen US feet) socks? Would you like photos of your socks to fly about the Internet and as advertisements in publications?
I can make this happen. If you give me your socks.
If you cannot tell, I am wearing a lovely pair of Zanconato socks. I won them in a raffle.
Here is a better photo of my legs and the socks that I am wearing at the bottom of my legs:
This photo is grainy, as I took it off of Colin Reuter’s Twitter page.
If you give me some socks, I will wear them at all cyclocross races. I will also blog about your socks. I will give them an honest review. I am an honest man. If I review the socks, and they suck*, I will say so. I will send the socks back to you, and you can take the shitty socks and burn them (as that is what one does with socks that suck).
I will talk about your socks incessantly on the Twitter, to the detriment of losing followers who are tired of hearing me talk about how great (or how shitty) your socks are. I don’t use Facebook very often, but I will start using it to talk about your socks.
I will put socks on my dog and take cute photos. Maybe even post them to Instagram. Are you into sexy photos of skinny, hairy guys wearing nothing but SOCKS?
Well, that’s good, but don’t push your luck. I will probably** not send you photos of me wearing nothing but socks.
Contact me at email@example.com if you have some socks that you’d like to give me.
*Please don’t send me shitty socks. Let’s not waste our time here.
** I might.